Friday, March 11, 2011

Farm Boy vs The Property Search

Today I have a tale to tell and for the better of the whole viewing audience I will deliver that tale in a lost literary form.  Before you is a throw back to the choose your own adventure books of our younger years.  Also before you is your first choice.  If you would like to know the fate of Farm Boy and Buttercup move to the 8th paragraph.  If you would like to journey through the amazing blessings and occurrences of their adventure to date continue from here…


In late December 2010, after countless days and nights, Farm Boy was daftly and with great courage, battling his way through property listing after property listing.  Little was to be left standing in his way.  Everything from Amish built homes to untamed wooded lots would quickly come under the cunning deliberate eye of a well prepared land hunter.  Farm Boy, with the flick of a mouse, would deem listing after listing either lacking in many ways or toss them into a to-be-determined pile. He was holding fast to a deep rooted commitment  to simplicity, community, and strong family values.

Now, just days before the arrival of Old Saint Nick, and after a travel across thousands of miles, before him lies the greatest of all properties.  A property of the likes Farm Boy had not yet seen.  It possessed strengths and abilities that where well beyond the comprehension of our battle hardened Farm Boy.  “Surely,” he thought, “”A weakness could be found.”  Or could it?  Had Farm Boy met his match.  (have you had enough?  You can still jump to paragraph 8 if you can’t bare the suspense.)

Farm Boy, determined to outdo his foe, went directly to his first line of defense.  With a quick sweep and a precision click of the mouse, between him and the towering property stood the lethal mortgage spread sheet. (Dun-dun-duuuun)  Fortified with a relentless amortization schedule and more, numbers and terms flew with exacting results.  The beast of a property lay shrouded in a cloud of analyzation .  With the twitching nerves of a tested warrior, and the comfort of numerous victories, Farm Boy stood waiting for the dust to clear.  As the commotion settled and a hush fell about the land, the picturesque property reviled itself to be. . . untouched.  So much so that both structure and land appeared to faintly glow with anticipation. “What can this simple Farm Boy possibly bring to the battle that I cannot stand up to?” thought the property.

Farm Boy, in amazement, staggered back.  Before him was quite possibly the most well matched property he had come up against.  What would become of the world as he knew it?  Could Farm Boy mount a stronger attack? 

(turn to paragraph 8 to chicken out and see the final outcome or continue on to see what comes next) 

With all the energy that Farm Boy could muster he called out to his trusty sidekick, Buttercup,  “Honey, you better come look at this!”  With twice the speed and agility of her champion, Buttercup descended the stairway to join Farm Boy at the basement computer screen.  Slightly disturbed at the interruption in her dinner preparation, she placed herself firmly in the seat before the screen.  However, just out of sight of Farm Boy and in anticipation of her arrival, the property prepared its best views.  Click after click the property and Buttercup went round and round.  Farm Boy grew more and more concerned.  Had he asked to much of Buttercup?  What could he do to put favor into their court.  With only the slightest hesitation Farm Boy reached for what he deemed his last resort, the phone!

The worry of defeat and harm to his precious Buttercup escalated with each ring and with ring after ring he feared the worst.  The last ring was cut short and a voice of assurance replaced it.  “Hello?” was all that was offered.  Farm Boy in calm steady words inquired about the status of the property.  The voice at the other end of the line reluctantly shared that it was still available and ready to be seen.  The horror, the disbelieve, Farm Boy and Buttercup had fallen into the grasp of the perfect property.

Out of instinct rather than choice, Farm Boy hangs up the phone and scribbles on a piece paper the date and time of a viewing.  Turning slowly to assess the fallout of the now ended battle and to determine the extent of the infatuation that the property had placed upon Buttercup, he was startled to find that Buttercup was not to be found.  The unimaginable ran through Farm Boy’s mind!  At a lost for words he stilled his body and mind, a silence that was deafening rushed about, only to be shattered by Farm Boy’s worst fears. . .  the uncontainable amazement of the Mother-In-Law.  Buttercup in a weakened state had allowed the intoxicating images of the property to be seen by her mom.  Little was left for the land hunters to do and in the final maneuvers of success, the property strategically placed one final picture in view.  Its target was the, as of yet, uninvolved oldest child of Farm Boy and Buttercup.  Baby Buttercup was dead still…  Then the shriek of his daughter sealed the deal…  Behold…  a tree house nestled in forty acres of woods!

Over the course of two and a half months the property would continue to provide challenge after challenge for our land hunters.  Challenges in the form of surveyors, loan officers, underwriters, and ultimately tenants!  This battle, however, would prove to be a worthwhile one ending in land ownership. . .no, farmland ownership, for Farm Boy and Buttercup.  Ending on Thursday March 10th 2011.  The only catch is the previous owners.  They have how become tenants.  The adventure of Farm Boy and Buttercup will remain in a holding pattern until the previous owners can build their new home.


The property is ours, we just can’t move in until December or January…

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