Thursday, March 15, 2012

Car Crash in the Country

   Just a tick past noon under a near cloudless sky, Farm Boy and the kids where busy at work and play.  It had been a lazy Saturday.  One that had just seen the end of a trip to the local hardware store.  The kids, restless from the drive, had found excuse to ride wild on their tricycles and Farm Boy was deftly assembling his new wheelbarrow. Suddenly,the sounds of birds and nature where replaced with earth shuddering cracks, bangs, and booms!  Farm Boy’s natural inclination was to reach for his phone while running toward the crash site, and those where the initial reactions that took place, all within the first five to ten yards that he had so quickly covered.  Strangely though, the situation quickly came into focus.  The direction in which Farm Boy, and now the kids, where headed in was due east.  Precisely the opposite direction of the main road.  In the direction of the back forty… the woods!  “What the” was all Farm Boy could manage.   The Woods where a hush, washed with silence.  Yet not even the smallest detail seamed to be amiss.  Aside from the now fading hush that had fallen on the farm, there was no indication of trauma or injury.  There was no call for help or smoke from the impact.  In fact, there was no car to be seen!
   Farm Boy insisted that the kids return to their horse play as he continued on his way, cautiously, out to the woods.  After a brief eternity, Farm Boy found himself at the edge of the woods.  They stood there, leafless and without indication.  Almost as if to play coy.  Farm Boy teetered on the brink of doubt.  Leaning only on the similar reaction of his kids to secure his sanity.  Still alarmed at the commotion but eased slightly at the lack of evidence of impact, he pushed a bit further into the woods.  Woods, that by this point, where alive with the sound of nature and blissfully unchallenged by the event. Baffled and unsettled, Farm Boy made his way back to the edge of the woods.  however, from this view, looking down on the farm, the cause for alarm violently returned.  The victim of the crash was not a stranger.  It was not even someone else!  it was he Farm Boy!  Nor was the perpetrator of the crash a car but rather a 35 foot tree.  Juat three hundred feet from where Farm Boy stood was the fractured and decimated, rotten stump of the now shattered giant.  Yet the cause for concern was not the tree, but rather the barn that stood just three hundred and thirty six feet from where Farm Boy stood. Blinded by panic, Farm Boy darted toward the barn.  Arriving at the crash site just seconds after his discovery…  There it lay thirty five feet of barn killing tree all of one foot shy of the barn wall.  First, relief washed over Farm Boy, then dizzy nausea as the adrenalin began to wear off.
   Still standing and intact was the cattle barn and even firmer intact was Farm Boys resolve to acquire a chain saw come sunrise, Monday morning!  Fire wood anyone?


  1. Hey Farmboy,

    Where I come from there kind of dead trees are called "widow makers" because they can fall without warning. If you're camping and set up camp next to one, you can be in real trouble.

    Love the blog, by the way.

  2. Now see, if I had bought a new farm - the tree would have fallen and hit the house. But you - it misses! AND you get an excuse to go buy a brand new chainsaw! What kind did you get? Looks like a big Stihl in the pict.

  3. Simple -- "Widow Maker" indeed! I have never experienced such a commotion on so calm a day. What a rush! I am glad you enjoy my ramblings, rest assured there will be plenty of chaos to blog about in the days to come. Enjoy and safe camping! ;)

  4. Matt -- you must have walked under to many ladders while growing up... we need to work on the bad Ju Ju thing! A Stihl is correct. It is the MS 290 not the biggest you can buy, but nice and powerful. I have an affinity for Stihl. I used Stihl equipment a lot while doing the landscaping. It is rock solid stuff. Come on out, we'll fire up the beast and feed it some fire wood.